That's So Pretty

CHAPTER III – THAT’S SO PRETTY

This is a chapter excerpt from Mijo's forthcoming book. To be notified of it's release and get some free music, go here.

Sometimes the emotional depths of despair are insurmountable, even when faced with the sweetness of new love, care, novelty or an exciting change of circumstances.

In the song “That’s so pretty” I explore unrequited love. In this tale the one denying the love is helplessly unable to give themselves fully to the new relationship. Therefore, the relationship is trying to sail whilst submerged underwater.

The inability to commit fully to a lover. That old thing kept following me around. It took me years to unpick all of this. A long and painful time. Like unpicking a tangle of blackberry bushes. But I knew it was important for me to do it, lest it follow me wherever I go.

In matters of love, the emotional stakes are high. We either fulfil our deepest need for connection or we experience our deepest fear of rejection.

All of that upheaval to realise that I was the common denominator in these relationships. I could start a new one, but it turns out that I would bring the same ‘me’ with me, and with that the same destructive patterns. I didn’t have to change lovers, I needed to change myself.

That’s a hard lesson to learn and admit when surveying the wreckage over a number of years. I had to swallow hard, lift my chin and make a commitment. If I’m lucky enough to fall in love again, I’m not going to run away.

I’m going to learn to love more, learn to communicate, learn to give, learn to support, learn to put my stuff aside, learn to grow up, learn to take care of more than myself and learn to give myself fully to a lover.

When it’s working well, it’s a virtuous cycle of give and take, feed and be nourished, spooner and spoonee.

To live a life of love, I had to open myself up to potential harm and challenge. Usually in the case of being fully seen by another person, to be vulnerable and to own up to my own inadequacies. It has been the best training ground to simply become a better human. Though the potential pain can be excruciating when things go belly up, the upside is infinite.

That’s so pretty

I truly could not believe As she got down on one knee How indifferent I was With the true love she offered me

Whoever said it’s better to have loved and lost Than to have never loved at all Has never fallen in love and never met With what awaits at the end of it all. At the end of the fall.

That’s so pretty, oh and that’s pretty too, baby everything always looked so good on you.

The stinging of my sins remained when I met you I spent so long looking into your eyes now they’re making me ever so blue My body holds the memory of just how close you love to be, how close you love to be held.

Now there’s a flash in my mind knows your face so well, so vivid, so clean Now it places it each and every night in my dreams In my drowning dreams.

That’s so pretty, oh and that’s pretty too, baby everything always looked so good on you.

The stinging of my sins remained when I left you I spent so long looking into your eyes now they’re making me ever so blue

My body holds the memory of just how close you love to be, How close you love to be held. How close you love to be held. How close you love to be held.

That’s so pretty, oh that’s pretty too, baby now what to do because everything but my love looks good on you Everything but my love looks good on you Everything but my love…